i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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