Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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