and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
