College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
