you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
