We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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