Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
zippers are such a cool invention
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
