He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hippo gnu deer
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize