I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
