last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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