This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
