Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
