So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
