So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
