every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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