I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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