He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
