he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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