I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
