Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
