Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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