I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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