It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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