If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
