Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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