I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We left the knife in your bed.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
