Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
