4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
