too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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