It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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