I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
