i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
