just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
