I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
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I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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