You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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