Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
