Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down

(920): View more from Wisconsin

wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?

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(414): dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down (920): wtf? who are you bitching about me to now? http://tfl.nu/k0ih

Replies (5) Good night (734) Bad night (1356)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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(612): im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season. http://tfl.nu/2d9g

Replies (3) Good night (3540) Bad night (667)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

do herpes really smell.

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(215): do herpes really smell. http://tfl.nu/wcbx

Replies (38) Good night (545) Bad night (6550)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this

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(781): walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this http://tfl.nu/8ri1

Replies (29) Good night (6519) Bad night (675)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am

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(250): They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am http://tfl.nu/0rv3

Replies (3) Good night (3246) Bad night (1148)
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(330): View more from Ohio

we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it

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(330): we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it http://tfl.nu/pd6c

Replies (11) Good night (2188) Bad night (3066)
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(410): View more from Maryland

i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.

(443): View more from Maryland

do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?

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(410): i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka. (443): do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob? http://tfl.nu/qeeu

Replies (18) Good night (4839) Bad night (1030)
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(951): View more from California

We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

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(951): We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question. http://tfl.nu/23so

Replies (13) Good night (1879) Bad night (618)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml

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(507): The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it h http://tfl.nu/rzj1

Replies (6) Good night (514) Bad night (1905)
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(904): View more from Florida

I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am

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(904): I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am http://tfl.nu/dm8p

Replies (9) Good night (2156) Bad night (554)
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(360): View more from Washington

High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.

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(360): High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice. http://tfl.nu/cgkk

Replies (12) Good night (1224) Bad night (602)
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(619): View more from California

Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up

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(619): Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up http://tfl.nu/pxnj

Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (470)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore

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(787): Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore http://tfl.nu/sv88

Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (296)
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(347): View more from New York

That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.

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(347): That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where. http://tfl.nu/6uae

Replies (11) Good night (650) Bad night (374)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.

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(508): It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming. http://tfl.nu/nix9

Replies (7) Good night (206) Bad night (395)

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