Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

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  (919): bitch so ugly she owes me an erection http://tfl.nu/ldn1
  Replies (29) Good night (922) Bad night (4824)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY

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  (864): she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY http://tfl.nu/d7k6
  Replies (20) Good night (6399) Bad night (866)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.

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  (256): I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with. http://tfl.nu/f7yk
  Replies (11) Good night (6101) Bad night (1314)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool

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  (339): he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool http://tfl.nu/n767
  Replies (5) Good night (2325) Bad night (1361)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.

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  (630): whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch. http://tfl.nu/lo8i
  Replies (5) Good night (2412) Bad night (1302)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.

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  (267): He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man. http://tfl.nu/v6o1
  Replies (9) Good night (3087) Bad night (1093)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.

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  (203): Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder. http://tfl.nu/zfbm
  Replies (12) Good night (3091) Bad night (755)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.

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  (303): But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed. http://tfl.nu/6rp2
  Replies (7) Good night (2734) Bad night (742)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.

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  (314): you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything. http://tfl.nu/wqjw
  Replies (5) Good night (2260) Bad night (568)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.

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  (847): I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/tgoh
  Replies (11) Good night (1285) Bad night (573)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics

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  (647): You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics http://tfl.nu/qir9
  Replies (4) Good night (1074) Bad night (467)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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  (740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1595) Bad night (571)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now

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  (779): Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now http://tfl.nu/zs7j
  Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (571)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!

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  (360): OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!! http://tfl.nu/dp1t
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (620)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".

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  (774): He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water". http://tfl.nu/jyhw
  Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (185)

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