So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.