i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?