DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize