I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize