Your mouth is God's brothel.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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