is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
