I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
