We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
