the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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