I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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