Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
