just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He better not be in your backpack
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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