Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
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I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
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Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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