Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
