I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My feet surprised me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
