After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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