Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
