it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Randomize
