at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
