just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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