I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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