Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
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I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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