Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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