cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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