i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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